stargirl

Inner battles

"din, the next chapter’s so good you’re gonna regret studying first".
“But tomorrow’s midterms and I haven’t made it halfway through!”.
“Come awwwn!!! It’s naley!!!”
“What the hell!” *rolls eyes

Leave it to me to use fanfiction as an excuse to get out of studying.

PS. Hi (tumblr) buddy! Been a while since we(i) last talked.

Me

Two people meeting for the first time.

"Hi what’s your name?"
“Hi. My name’s Danielle”
“Oh sounds like a guy’s name”

Girl just smiles back.

I have lab duty tomorrow yet I’m doing my own reruns at 12 AM

It’s been too long and still Naley makes me silent scream in my room at midnight. Still got me wishing my name was Haley James and I got me a Nathan Scott. Still makes me believe One Tree Hill is the best tv show in the history of tv shows. Yes, there’s Friends but, damn it, that was comedy! Hahaha. Also, goodnight chips delight :)

One of my favorite lines:
“You can drive at 16. Go to war at 18. You can drink at 21 and retire at 65. So how old do you have to be before your love is real?”

Aaaaaahhhhh!!!! Oth forevs. 😆

Shark bait = fried ass

What can you possibly do when you’re thrown off a boat to be fed to a bunch of hungry great whites? Or when you’re asked to answer to a person like Ms. Trunchbull? Or when you’re asked to do something that’s life-and-death-‘tis-the-real-world-make-no-mistakes kind of something? What would you do?

You panic. You lose all sense, be it common or not. Everything you’ve learned from the past 20 years (pooof)——gone. Just like that. You forget that your mouth could produce words. You forget that 1+1 is 2. You forget that the sun is yellow. You forget how to use a freakin sphygmo. You forget your name. You forget everything. And then, slowly, common sense starts crawling back into your brain and you run (swim) to the nearest help you can find and scream “please help me! My ass is getting fried”. Hahaha.

Life’s like that sometimes. It sends earthquakes just when you thought you’re standing on a stable ground, trying to shake things up a bit, reminding you that it’s not gonna be easy. That it’s not always gonna be traveled within the four walls of your comfort zone. That sometimes you’d have to have your ass fried for you to learn and grow as person.

I’m trying. I’m learning.

PS. Almost got my ass fried but then I ran for help! Ha!

Meriam has an accurate word for this

Thousands of reasons are running through my mind, both for and against it. Deciding on doing something that’s miles away from my comfort zone while the clock mocks me. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. What’s it gonna be? Tick. Tock. I stare at it even more confused. Why can’t I decide on something like this? Oh God, this is driving me crazy. Do I want to? Or not? A part of me says “I do, I really wanna fucking do!”. Yet there’s a tiny part of me that’s growing stronger by the minute telling me, “You really wanna do this? You sure?”, breaking whatever will I had before. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. It mocks me again, pressuring me to decide before midnight dawns upon the world, before it’s too late. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. “Ok, I’m gonna do it”…. “But what if……..?”……”Fuck! What am I gonna do?”…… Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock……….

6 Reasons why you should start your own organic garden

1. It makes you smile and excited seeing the first sign of life growing from that seed you planted a few days ago.

2. It teaches you patience. We all know we need that in this crazy-everything-instant world we live in.

3. They attract butterflies and bees and add beauty to your home.

 4. You can fart on them all day everyday and they won’t get offended.

5. You get free food. One that’s also free from chemicals. 

6. And lastly, coz it’s fun!

“It’s nothing personal. I’d love to hangout but I kinda need to hangout with myself for a while✌️”

WTF am I doing, writing this at 1 in the morning. Also, I don’t proofread so this one’s just all over the place ha!

This past year I’ve just learned a few things about myself. I know you’re probably thinking “dude, you’ve been alive for 19 years! How do you not know yourself?”. And I’ll probably answer you with my middle finger. No I’m just kidding. Or not. Haha. See, back in gradeschool we used to take personality tests or aptitude tests (think divergent hah!) or something. And my results were always intrapersonal (or something like that). I used to think it was such a lame result. My classmates were more into musical, dancing, logical, interpersonal, artistic side. And I’m the i-like-to-be-with-myself kind. The lonewolf. The loner. I’m not gonna lie I used to deny it all the time. I used to think those tests were stupid coz they made me feel different from the rest of the crowd. Only for a little while though because I was 12 and didn’t take that shit seriously. I continued to live my life but somehow that feeling of in denial was buried deep down inside my freakin stomach or some part of my anatomy. Hah! Anyways, I got to highschool and moved on with my life. I remember back then I was always in a hurry to go home after dismissal. I’d tell my friends that I’d be fetched early even though it wasn’t really true. I just really wanted to sit in the chair near the guardhouse alone and wait for the driver to come pick me up. There were times when I’d be fetched really late and my friends would see me (trying to hide from them hahaha) and they’d be like “oy din you’re still here. I thought you were going home early?” And I’d be like ☺️☺️☺️ hehhehe. I never really understood why I was acting that way, not till I got to college. The beautiful world of the interkernet gave me answers. Answers I’ve been wanting to know. I can picture you saying “The internet’s been here for a long time. How could you have possibly gotten your answers just now?”. Again, middle finger. Hahahha. I had just recently (and I mean the past 2-3 ish years) come across the word introversion and started reading articles about it. And I found out that that is exactly who I am. I found out that I am not alone. I am not alone in being alone. Hooray! There are people out there who are just like me. People who love being with their own company. People who enjoy silence and solitude. People who enjoy staying home and doing nothing for the weekend. I found out that I am not weird, that I am not a loser for wanting to stay home all the time, that just because I don’t go out that much doesn’t mean I have no life, that I’m not a fucking killjoy, that it’s not true that I don’t know how to have fun. Reading those articles helped me understand who I am and has somehow put things in perspective. I’ve gotten to know myself a little better now, probably not fully but somehow. I don’t expect people to understand though, hell I don’t even get it myself sometimes. I’m just happy knowing that it’s okay to want to be with yourself, that it’s okay not to want to go where everybody else is, that it’s okay to be an introvert.

So hey if you’re an introvert like me, dude high five✋! Also, you’re okay ;)

Lifehouse plays in the background

I sit in a rust covered chair at the second floor of my house that’s overlooking a scarecrow-guarded-maya-infested ricefield while the cool winds brush against my skin, giving me the chills and possibly gas passing urges. I watch from afar, the little boys flying their kites on a late summer afternoon. Yes! Summer is upon us. It has finally graced us with its awesome presence, reminding us that the beaches are prepped, the swimwears screaming from our drawers begging us to let them see daylight and that we can kiss school goodbye for a good two months. Summer has always been my favorite season, given that I live in the Philippines and we only have two seasons: wet and dry. I love the rainy season too but that would have to be in a different post. I remember when I was younger I used to beg my parents to let me and my brother (it was just the two of us then) go out and play what we thought (and still think) were (are) the coolest pinoy kids games with our 20+ kid neighbors. Bato-lata, bahaw-bahaw, buwan-buwan just to name some some. I remember asking my mom for money so that we could buy halo-halo as afternoon snacks. I remember going home smelling awfully good (think sweat and fun! A perfect combo for a summer eau de toilette). And I remember wishing the nights would be in a hurry so that I could do the same things the next day. Man, I am feeling nostalgic! I blame Regina Spektor (her music makes me nostalgic idk why) whom I was listening to on my way home from the gym.
Anyways, point of post: I LOVE SUMMER!

Vavay👋